We all go though moments of offense. But in order for us to get offended, most likely someone has tapped into one of our insecurities. So rather than get mad at that person, we need to examine why the insecurity exists and determine what we can do to uproot it.
I've been paying attention to the areas where I've been offended (it's been a lot lately probably because I'm back near my loved ones and no one can press your buttons like close friends and family) and it's almost always connected to career and money.
When you make the decision to pursue entrepreneurship, there are going to be naysayers and unfortunately, I'm one of those naysayers at times. So when someone says, "What's your plan?" or "You should get a job at x, y, z" it feeds into the doubt that already exists in my mind.
I question, "Am I making the right decision? Maybe I should just go back to the corporate world until my business is thriving." But I know me. The 9-5 world depletes my mental energy so much so that I don't make as much time for my dreams as I really should. And even if I was able to clock out and work on my business until 1-2am on my own time, I would not be being obedient. God directs every decision I make, and He has clearly told me to dive in head first and I do not play when He gives me an instruction.
I noticed I had a problem when I was becoming offended even if nothing offensive was said. Okay don't leave me out here all alone. We all think we know what someone is thinking although they never verbalized what we think they were thinking and in reality they may not be thinking about you at all. This leads me to another insecurity I recognized in myself. I care about what people think about me. Like this is normal, you should want a positive reputation, but there is a point where you care too much about how others perceive you.
I walk in a room and I immediately am thinking about how I'm walking, did I smile enough, what small talk can I come up with, was that joke offensive? It's ridiculous. In most cases, people may have a comment or two about you and then they go about their life and forget about the encounter. Get over yourself because that person surely has (I'm talking to me right now).
Now that I've addressed my insecurities (and ya'll just done left me out here to dry all by myself --wow, that sounds like another insecurity), operation "heal" is the next step. The first thing that I tell myself when I notice I'm becoming offended is to let it go and stop caring so much about other people's thoughts of me. And that's it, I'm instantly better, haha! Yeah right!
That just helps shake me out of overthinking. Then, I tell myself the true intention behind what I do and say. I know that I'm not a malicious person, that I never mean to take advantage of anyone or anything, and all in all I know who and whose I am.
Next, I pray to God for healing from my thoughts. I don't always feel comfortable talking to people, but when I can genuinely express my feelings to God, it's a form of release. It's therapeutic.
Lastly, I just give it time. This may sound cliché but time does heal some wounds, not all but definitely some. Think back to your ex-ex-ex boyfriend or girlfriend that you thought you would never get over. You swore you would never love again. And look at you, loving and living. You may not have a new boo, but you are sure glad you're not still stuck with what it's name.
All in all, in life, you're going to get your feelings hurt. You will experience both joy and pain, peaks and valleys. But you don't have to stay there. Last night I went to bed feeling a way, I got on my knees and prayed and woke up this morning feeling a different way. Feelings are just feelings and they change as often as the wind blows. Don't trip, this isn't the end all be all. You are worthy. You have purpose. You have what it takes to be joyful, healthy and whole. Recognize the areas of opportunity for growth and choose to grow.
Love,
Renée
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