This past year has been a journey of self-love, self-discovery and self-acceptance for me. In the past I have been the queen of putting on a facade (def had to look up the spelling of facade). Part of it's my DNA; my family is not one to show what we're going through. Always smile and look like you have it all together. Part of it is my culture. As a Black Christian, we are taught to give it all to Jesus and speak things as though they were because life and death is in the power of the tongue. It took a year of stillness and a couple months of hearing directly from the LORD to get me all the way together. Well, to start the process of getting me all the way together.
I am so blessed to possess the gift of communicating with people through my podcast But God and my Instagram Live show Name a Better Duo because God has used some of my guests and my co-host/sissy Lillian to speak specifically to me. Through them and I'm not going to lie, Instagram memes, God has shown me the importance of keeping the same energy I had during quarantine. Yes, we have responsibilities, but God wants me to chill on being busy just to be busy.
As I'm writing this I'm filled with gratitude for how God is so mindful of me. 2020 was hard for so many of us, losing loved ones and not being able to be with them in their final moments due to the corona virus hospital visitation restrictions. Losing my uncle/best friend without being present with him to witness his conditions and the care he was being given, hurt so badly. If I was required to go about life in the same manner without a pause I don't think I would have been able to do the processing necessary to heal. Isolation from outside forces and surrounding myself with family was so pivotal in what I call learning my way.
I now realize that God will always provide. I don't have to hustle to the point of constant sleep deprivation in order to thrive. There may be a time for that, but I don't believe God's ever intended for us to grind for personal gain. When Jesus walked the earth, He was about His Father's business. He was always working but not for Himself. We too must grind for what can help someone else. Yes, wealth and recognition is cool and I even believe that it can often be the result of walking in your purpose. But when God says to shut it down, do so without concern about how much money or time you're sacrificing.
Learning my way means discovering what brings me joy and what excites me to wake up each day. It means living in purpose and bearing fruit that can only come from doing such. I can earn all of the money in the world but if I'm not following God's lead, it will all be in vain. There are rich folks that are the most miserable people in the world because they're not listening to a higher power on a day-to-day basis. I'm learning to seek God in everything. He guides my every footstep. That is now my way.
Renée Nicole
@reneenicoleiam
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